Intermediate English Writing (1) Monday 7-8
200801224 DIS
Park, Sunghee
Voting Should Be Mandatory
Last Wednesday (27th April, 2011) was by-election day. I was excited to vote because it was the second election after I was given the right to vote. At the night, the news reported that the percentage of people who voted was expected to be over 50%. The news report added that it was an amazing voter turnout as the one of by-election. After hearing the news, I was quite embarrassed. This was because even though the election is important decision the people have, the other 50% of the people did not vote. As we can see in this election case, lower and lower turnout is a big problem that most governments need to deal with. I believe that voting should be mandatory for three reasons.
First, mandatory voting can serve as a solution for lowering voter turnout. If more and more people vote, public opinion, literally all people's opinion, can be reflected effectively. In this case, people can elect who they really want and who can represent the people. By setting voting as a mandatory, therefore, we can expect people would be satisfied the result of election, and the atmosphere would help the society be healthy.
Second, mandatory voting can prevent political apathy. Since people must vote, people would like to choose better one. In order to do this, voters can search the candidates or compare them. It will bring the positive effect because we can elect who really is proper in the position. As a result, mandatory voting can stimulates people to keep their eyes on politics including current political issues and members of National Assembly.
Some might say that voting should not be mandatory because people have a free will whether they vote or not. There are people who do not want to vote because they believe there is no one who are qualified among candidates. In that case, however, they can choose to cast a blank ballot. Even if voting is mandatory, voters still can cast abstention as a means of protesting the government. For the reasons, I believe free will issue is not a problem in implementing mandatory voting.
Many politicians are trying to seek out the way to solve lowering turnout. They usually say that more and more people vote if there is fresh policies. However, there are limitations. I believe voting should be mandatory because it is absolutely effective way to rise low voter turnout, to prevent political apathy without damaging people's free will.
You talked about the voting thesedays and suggest that the voting should be mandatory because it is an important thing for everyone in the society.
ReplyDeleteTo talk about what I liked in your writing is..
First, I like your way to start the whole essay- it is so called hook, right?. I think it is always a good idea to start with personal experiment and thought or perspective. It becomes always an interesting hook to read.
Second, I liked you directly mentioned that there would be three reasons for mandatory voting. It makes the whole writig structore clear and makes the reader think about what are these three reasons about.
Lastly, the way you started the conclusion was also really great. you mentioned about politician's effort to solve the problem of low voting rate and it was really closely related to the whole writing topic. In addition, this sentence made the starting of the conclusion flow really well and connected to the next sentences well. Becuase I have always difficulties connecting sentences fluently and make it interesting also, this standed out to me.0
To talk about the way that can improve your writing, I will talk about one thing.
In the second paragraph, "Since people must vote, people would like to choose better one." was a bit more unpersuasive than the rest of the writing. Although I found that your writing was really persuasive overall, this sentence is a bit more about emotion and subjective. Of course, this sentence itself is really great, therefore, I would like to suggest you to put some supporing sentences after this.
Sunghee,
ReplyDeletehow interesting! You picked up same topic that I wrote. In addition, you suggested voting should be mandatory,too. The reasons also quite similar mine. Hahaha.
I like your introduction because you started your essay from your experience. It usually attracts reader's attention. And I understand your embarrassment. How 50% can be high turnout?It seems that our expectation for turnout is very low.
But, the last two sentences in your introduction seems little unconnected. I am sorry, my understanding may be short, but it is difficult to follow.
Low turnout is problem -> I believe that voting should be mandatory for three reasons.
Your logic is similar to mine, so it is difficult to comment.^^
Thank you.