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By Ko Yoon Jin 200700121
It was just another common Friday afternoon. I had two classes, so it was obvious that I was a little bit tired. When I went to the school library to start my daily assignments as my usual routine, I found an Angel-in-us-Coffee which I love. I thought it was for my friend who I'm sharing my cabinet with. However, it was just for me. My friend left it inside to make me surprise! There was a short message from him, and it said that "Thank you for sharing your cabinet with me. I always wanted to do this kind of thing before. (Laugh) You said that I should use our cabinet neatly and now see your stuff? That's Ok. Study hard!" It made me very happy at that moment. Even though the bottle of coffee is not an expensive present or even very fancy thing to be called as a present, it certainly made me so happy because I could feel his care and warm affection, of course as a friend. So, what makes people happy? What makes me so happy? I found my answers from this happening.
Surprise makes people happy. Life is wonderful with full of surprise: surprise news, surprise party, surprise event, etc. If there is no surprise in our life and if it's always same, it would be stressfully boring. If you are not feeling happy these days, I strongly suggest making yourself adventure to encounter with surprise such as meeting someone new, visiting new place, or joining some extracurricular activities. Every new activity you do would bring surprise in your life and that could lead you to be happier.
Present makes people happy. I love presents and everybody does. We all love it because it gives us happiness. But, to be happy, you don't have to wait for somebody to give you a present. You can give a small present to yourself. For me, I do give myself something when I want to encourage myself and it certainly brighten me a lot. The present doesn't have to be an expensive or nice shoe at all-even though I shop to give myself something. I love chocolates or short cakes. It's sweet, so sweet. When I taste the sweetness, I feel very happy. It's my easy, cheap and quick way to make myself happy.
Interest makes people happy. What I mean interest is toward other people. Be curious to your friends and family: what they are doing or how they have been. It would certainly build strong and long lasting relationship that you must feel good about. Not only for yourself, this way, you could make other people around you happy. Your people's happiness is the matter you to be happy. With your genially interest, ask some questions or poke somebody to laugh. We are now living in a very busy society and people's interest is quickly changing. Everybody has their own work to do and burden to carry out, so sometimes we miss important dates of others such as their birthday or wedding anniversary. Even though it's hard to keep up every events or happenings of others because we, ourselves, are busy as hell, but these are the things we should care and have interest.
I saw a Youtube video a few days ago. It was about Muenshakai which means that a society with no personal connection in Japanese. Many people are losing their connection or affection toward others in their old age and they are dying alone. Over 32,000 people are dying without any identification because they live alone and do not keep in touch with people around them. Therefore, after they died, nobody could tell who he/she was or why he/she is dead. This is an extreme example but we might become like those old people in Japan if we don't care about others. Others' happiness is our happiness as well. It's all connected. So, my opinion is that make yourself with surprise adventure and present and simultaneously make people around you happy with great concern and warm affection. This is the idea I came up with to make everyone happy. Thank you for reading my long essay.
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Saturday, April 9, 2011
What makes people happy? (200700121)
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To yoonjin From _Hannah Kim Assignment Unit3
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is it was really interesting to read. I could not take my eyes off of your work. Also, the way you started the essay was really fresh. I have never thought of my essay writing about the causes of happiness with my own experience. Oh, it is shame to always envy someone’s work,, though. ㅠ.ㅜ
2. Your main point seems to be there are three things that in your point of view give people happiness; surprise, present and interest.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1) The structure of your writing was really great. I felt it was so well organized. The three things that make people happy were connected with the introduction very well and the whole essay flowed also really naturally.
2) With the way you start your essay, I was so impressed! When I read your personal experience about receiving coffee from one of your friends, I was even thrilled! It was really cheerful and happy moment when I thought this as my own.
3) The starting of each body paragraph was also fantastic! I have never thought of and tried this kind of style. This is very new and fresh, I think. The reason is that people, including me always tend to write our writing with boring introduction, mentioning what this essay would be, boring bodies, always starting with monotonous words- First or The reason I think this way~ and boring conclusion summarizing what they said in the body paragraphs.
4. The changes you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is:
1) The story about Youtube makes me feel a little bit divergent. Of course, it was very interesting story and I had no difficulty understanding your main point. However, this essay flowed with one main stream, I think- the experience you had and the insight about happiness from this experience.
2) The last body paragraph that you dealt with interest was a little bit irrelevant with your experience. This interest meant what people like and feel curious, however in my personal opinion, your personal experience had no aspect related to interest. So, I think it would be more attractive writing if you say the relationship between this ‘interest’ and your experience about coffee that gave you an idea about feeling happiness.
This is very warm hearted story. I can see how nice person you are! i like the sentence 'Others' happiness is our happiness as well. It's all connected.' I focused on personal happiness, but never thought of circular power of happiness.^^
ReplyDeleteAlso, it was very good idea about 'surprising'. You must be really happy when you found a cup of coffee in the locker! That's the one I'd like to try to my friend. Thanks for the tip ^^
You mentioned about Japanese people dying along that you watched in youtube. I think you could write about way to be happy with example of japanese people, because that story seems little bit out of focus of being happy and doesn't look like the example that makes someone happy. I can see that you used it to emphasize the necessity of happiness, but it was quite different story from happiness.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your writing is full of interesting idea. I even feel like I want to know you better ^^
Wow, Thanks for your lovely comments!
ReplyDeleteYour comments were so helpful and now I really want to include your advices into my second draft essay!
The YouTube video was from one of my Japanese class and I was so shocked and that was why I suddenly wanted to write about! Cause I had written my piece almost before I watched that movie! I quess I should be more careful to put new information or irrelevent information in conclusion. While I was writing my conclusion with the story of YouTube, I actually thought briefly that it might be off topic a little bit.. and you guys pointed out ! So I gusee I can't get away from accepting your advices to change my conclusion.
Anyway, thank you so much! I appreciate your advices.
What makes people happy?
ReplyDeleteBy Ko Yoon Jin 200700121
It was just another common Friday afternoon. I had two classes, so it was obvious that I was a little bit tired. When I went to the school library to start my daily assignments as my usual routine, I found an Angel-in-us-Coffee which I love. I thought it was for my friend who I'm sharing my cabinet with. However, it was just for me. My friend left it inside to make me surprise! There was a short message from him, and it said that "Thank you for sharing your cabinet with me. I always wanted to do this kind of thing before. (Laugh) You said that I should use our cabinet neatly and now see your stuff? That's Ok. Study hard!" It made me very happy at that moment. Even though the bottle of coffee is not an expensive present or even very fancy thing to be called as a present, it certainly made me so happy because I could feel his care and warm affection, of course as a friend. So, what makes people happy? What makes me so happy? I found my answers from this happening.
Surprise makes people happy. Life is wonderful with full of surprises: surprise news, surprise party, surprise event, etc. If there is no surprise in our life and if it's always same, it would be stressfully boring. If you are not feeling happy these days, I strongly suggest making yourself adventure to encounter with surprise such as meeting someone new, visiting new place, or joining some extracurricular activities. Every new activity you do would bring surprise in your life and that could lead you to be happier.
Present makes people happy. I love presents and I’m pretty sure that everybody does. We all love it because it gives us happiness. But, to be happy, you don't have to wait for somebody to give you a present. You can give a small present to yourself, too. For me, I do give myself something when I want to encourage myself and it certainly brighten me a lot. I love chocolates or short cakes or sweet candies or ice-cream. When I taste the sweetness, I feel very happy. So it is my easy, cheap and quick way to make myself feel happy.
Affection makes people happy. Be genially curious about your friends and family: what they are doing or how they have been these days. It would certainly help to build strong and long lasting relationship. Good relationship is very important to be happy because it would definitely support you when you feel lonely or discouraged. Also you can make other people around you happy by caring and supporting them as well. Your people's happiness is the matter you to be happy. With your great care and affection, ask some questions or poke somebody to laugh. We are now living in a very busy society and people's interest is quickly changing. Everybody has their own work to do and burden to carry out, so sometimes we miss important dates of others such as their birthday or wedding anniversary. Even though it's hard to keep up every events or happenings of others because we, ourselves, are busy as hell, but these are the things we should care and have some interests.
Others' happiness is our happiness as well. It's all connected. So, my opinion is that to be happy, you can go for surprise adventures and present something to yourself and your people with great affection and care. These are three items to simultaneously make people around you happy and you to be happy. This is the idea I came up with to make everyone happy. Thank you for reading my long essay.