(201003252)
Exercise to Live a Happier Life
Happiness is the quality or state of being happy, and it is what most people want to achieve in their lives. To be in a continuous state of happiness is a challenge, because happiness occurs when a person is triggered by different reasons such as success, marriage, work achievement, career positions, a neat home environment, and possessions. What all of these reasons have in common is that a sense of accomplishment and or achievement causes a person to be happy. Now, it would be a profound experience if everyone can remain in the state of being happy, but unfortunately the feeling of "happiness" diminishes overtime. When a person has a regular exercise regimen, it can help trigger happiness throughout their daily life and help improve in the areas of health, relationships, and life challenges.
Vigorous regular exercise tones the body and metabolism that regulates stress hormones which promotes the release of endorphins. Getting regular excursive can help a person to fight stress thus improving the overall health. Many people think that being unhealthy refers to having a diagnosis of an illness, but having chronic migraines, dizziness, and shortness of breath can also define a person as being unhealthy. All of these symptoms can be relived through regular exercise and promote a person to become more content.
As mentioned earlier, exercise which releases endorphins can cause a person to become happy. This can help people find happiness in social and personal relationships. People like to be around happy people, and want to engage in relationships with happier people as well. IT is most attracting to know a person who has a positive outlook on life rather than someone who is pessimistic.
Finally, having a regular exercise regimen which causes people to become happier will help them face challenges in life more rationally than people who are not content in their lives. Also, give a person a clear mind to cope with unexpected difficult situations. Even in an abrupt situation people who are healthier and happier can deal with the problems in a calm and focused manner. In contrast, unhealthy and less happy people may panic and act in an impulsive manner which can lead to bad choices.
In conclusion, it is a sure bet to incorporate an exercise regimen in a person's life for it produces happiness. A happiness that can help improve in health, relationship, and the ability to handle difficult situations in life. If we all made an effort to exercise regularly we can see great changes in our lives which will ultimately make us happier.
Hi, My name is Yoonjin, Ko. I read your essay and now I thought 'oh.. exercise..T_T' because I don't like to do exercise, but I'm not trying to offend you, but anyway ^^ I should do some exercise to be happy for sure!
ReplyDeleteSo mostly, exercise is what we need to do become happy, right? You have researched! or it that all from your background knowledge, anyway it was really well explained even though I'm not a science girl.
To imrpove your essay, I suggest to consider these little mistakes that I found.
1. Now, it would be a profound experience if everyone can remain~
I don't know what you mean by "it"
2. All of these symptoms can be relived through regular exercise and promote a person to become more content.
relieved, maybe? and I don't think we need "a" in front of "person". I'm not so sure though.
3. IT is most attracting to know ~
It ^^
4. Also, give a person a clear mind to cope with ~
"a" clear mind? Can we count our mind? oh,. should I write minds? I'm not so sure this one, too. But please consider to improve your essay!
Even though it's a totally different way, why didn't you find some other causes to write? I mean.. you chose only exercise, and wasn't it hard to make 5 paragraph essay? ^^ I just wonder why you came up with only one cause to be happy ^^ Anyway, I enjoyed! Thanks !
To 201003252 From _Hannah Assignment Unit 3
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing that the approach is totally different and fresh!!!!! I always become envy when I find people who have fresh perspective. I think it is fresh thinking and different approach that make one’s essay really attractive and worthy.
2. Your main point seems that to be happy, start exercise! For example, there is a hormone that helps us to be happy.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1) The format you started each paragraph were amazing. This week, I also tried to omit these words- First, Next and so on, which indicate the start of the paragraph. However, the result was horrible. There was no coherence in my writing… ㅠ.ㅜ Unlike my work, yours fluent very naturally. I want to learn this ability.
2) ‘What all of these reasons have in common is~’=> I found this great because this connects the sentences very smoothly without attaching boring words, such as ‘and these are the~’.
3) ‘Finally, having a regular exercise regimen which causes people to become happier will help them face challenges in life more rationally than people who are not content in their lives.’ => I like this sentence because it connects your ideas with topic very well. The positive effect of being happy with exercise is very clear. “people can be happier by exercising-> this help to overcome difficulties and obstacles in their lives.
4) Lastly, when I read your essay, I can find that it is very logical! I am poor at writing logical thing, therefore I found it really great!
4. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is :
In my opinion, ‘This can help people find happiness in social and personal relationships.’ This sentence is not so naturally supported by next sentences. It would be even greater if you mention the exact connection between the tendency that people like to be with positive people and the sentence I said above.