Long long time ago, when we believed that a scary god live with us, we thought natural disasters like earthquakes and volcanic eruptions as the wrath of God. We thought there is some meaning behind the disasters and naturally the king or government was blamed for it. Today, however, even if mt. Baekdu erupts, there would be no one who blames MB administration rationally at least. Instead, most people are likely to believe explanation of the natural science. But for some people who are still doubtful, let me explain what makes a volcano erupt.
First, volcanic eruption starts from Magma. Magma is a liquid substance including volcanic gas and it is made when rock under the ground is melted by temperature or pressure changes. It mainly occurs between earth’s crust and the upper mantle. While the solid rock is melted and changed into liquid and gas, the volume is also expanded.
Next, surrounding rocks are pushed hard by Magma as the volume is expanded. Magma keeps pushing them for a quite long time and Magma moves to the surface of the earth slowly. It may happen on certain place, the plate boundaries and hot spots.
Finally, as time goes by the force of Magma to push the rock become bigger than the force of surface to push the Magma. Then, it cannot stay under the ground anymore and eventually erupts.
Recently volcanic eruptions are growing in the world. With them, fear for safety is also growing. As you can see, however, it is not the wrath of god. In addition, we can neither predict nor prevent eruptions. So it may be the wisest way for us to make it count and just live today.
ToLeeyeonyoung From Hannah Kim Assignment week 5.
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is the process of eruption is explained really well. I can understand when I read your writing very well. In addition, the flow is so natural that I was not disturbed in focusing on your essay at all. This was the best thing in your essay in my perspective.
2. Your main point seems to be the reason why volcanoes erupt and that eruption is not because of the wrath of god.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
‘But for some people who are still doubtful, let me explain what makes a volcano erupt.’ => I found this part really good because it makes clear the goal or purpose you write this essay.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively)
Although it was not bad at all, just to pick up some parts that could be improved, I would say the introduction and the conclusion. Actually, it was for me very fun and interesting about the myths or thinking of our ancestors about the volcanic eruptions. However, because it is a scientific essay, I think it would be better if there are no myths or stories about volcanoes. Second, I do not understand what ‘the volume is also expanded.’ exactly means. It is just because I have no knowledge of science, but it would be so kind of you if you add an explanation about this.
Final draft-Today’s Science Lecture: Volcanic Eruption
ReplyDeleteLong long time ago, when we believed that a scary god live with us, we thought natural disasters like earthquakes and volcanic eruptions as the wrath of God. We thought there is some meaning behind the disaster and naturally the king or the government was blamed for it. Today, however, even if Mt. Baekdu erupts, there would be no one who blames MB administration rationally at least. Instead, most people are likely to believe explanation of the natural science. But for some people who are still doubtful, let me explain what makes a volcano erupt.
First, volcanic eruption starts from Magma. Magma is a liquid substance including volcanic gas and it is made when rock under the ground is melted by temperature or pressure changes. It mainly occurs between earth’s crust and the upper mantle. As the solid rock is melted and changed into liquid and gas, the volume of Magma is also expanded.
Next, with the volume expansion, surrounding rocks are pushed hard by Magma. Magma keeps pushing rocks for a quite long time and moves to the surface of the earth slowly. It may happen on certain place like the plate boundaries and hot spots.
Finally, as time goes by, the force of Magma to push the rock become bigger than the force of surface to push the Magma. Then, it cannot stay under the ground anymore and eventually erupts.
Recently volcanic eruptions are growing in the world. With this, fear for safety is also growing. As you can see, however, it is not the wrath of god. In addition, we can neither predict nor prevent eruptions. So it may be the wisest way for us to make it count and just live today.